We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
