I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
