I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish i was in the wii world.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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