I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
