We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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