Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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