I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
time to smoke my breakfast
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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