ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
