If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
