Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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