he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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