I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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