OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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