I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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