Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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