true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
