Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
