im drinking this country out of the recession.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
