i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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