I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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