Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
