just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
