is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
