Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
