We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
