Umm I'm too high to move.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
