Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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