We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
