I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
