i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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