my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
