What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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