sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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