I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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