Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
