i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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