i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Life is so much better after having sex.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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