I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
