Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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