you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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