I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
