If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
