don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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