walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
