Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
