i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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