I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
