and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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