no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So vagazzling was a success
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
