"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
