He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
