I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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