i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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