Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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