She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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