oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
