elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
